Orgasm Queen: Do This For 20 Minutes Before Having Sex & Your Sex Will Feel Brand New!

TL;DR

  • Sexual trauma and dissociation are common barriers to intimacy that can be healed through proper communication and therapeutic approaches
  • Creating safety and novelty in relationships are the two essential ingredients for maintaining desire and sexual connection
  • Open conversations about sex, fantasies, and boundaries are critical for couples to understand each other's needs without judgment or mockery
  • The Pleasure Protocol and erotic playdates are practical techniques couples can implement to reconnect and rebuild their intimate lives
  • Understanding different types of orgasms and using appropriate tools can help partners achieve greater satisfaction and expanded pleasure
  • Addressing libido changes during life transitions like menopause requires patience, communication, and a willingness to explore new approaches together

Key Moments

2:04

What Do You Do and Why Do You Do It

6:41

Susan's Journey to Becoming a Sexpert

31:20

How to Start Conversations About Sex With Your Partner

59:23

How Safety and Novelty Create Desire

1:22:17

The Pleasure Protocol Explained

Episode Recap

In this episode, Steven Bartlett interviews Susan Bratton, a leading intimacy and relationship expert, about how couples can transform their sexual lives and deepen their emotional connections. Bratton shares her personal journey to becoming a sexuality expert, revealing how she overcame sexual trauma and used that experience to help thousands of couples rebuild their intimate relationships. She explains the concept of dissociation in sexual contexts, which occurs when the nervous system doesn't feel safe and creates a protective mechanism that prevents full presence and pleasure. Throughout the conversation, Bratton emphasizes that addressing sexual challenges requires vulnerability, open communication, and a willingness to explore what both partners need. She discusses the difference between mercy sex and authentic connection, stressing that couples need to identify real problems in their relationships before they can solve them. A significant portion of the episode focuses on how to initiate conversations about sex with partners without judgment or shame. Bratton shares her own experience with navigating an affair in her marriage and transitioning into a polyamorous relationship, demonstrating how some couples find unconventional solutions to maintain connection. She introduces practical techniques couples can use to reconnect, including erotic playdates and the Pleasure Protocol, which creates a safe, structured space for partners to explore sensation together without performance pressure. The episode covers common sexual challenges like early ejaculation, body image issues, and the impact of comparison on intimacy. Bratton explains how safety and novelty work together to create sustained desire in relationships. She emphasizes that pressure around sex actually kills desire and that couples must develop communication skills to discuss fantasies without mocking or judgment. The conversation includes discussions about different types of orgasms and reviews of various intimacy products designed to enhance pleasure. Finally, Bratton addresses how life transitions like menopause affect libido and relationships, suggesting that partners must approach these changes with patience and creativity. Throughout the episode, she emphasizes that sexual fulfillment is achievable for any couple willing to invest time and effort into understanding themselves and their partners better, with the overarching message that great sex begins with emotional safety and authentic communication.

Notable Quotes

The most important thing in your sex life is safety and novelty working together

Dissociation during sex is your nervous system's way of protecting you from something that doesn't feel safe

You don't have to have an affair to explore desires outside your relationship, you can explore them together

Erotic playdates aren't about performance, they're about reconnecting and rebuilding desire with your partner

The Pleasure Protocol creates a sacred space where both partners can explore sensation without pressure or expectation

Products Mentioned